I thought I'd have it all together by now.

A lot has happened in the past few weeks. We celebrated Zane's second birthday on December 13th,

followed by Reese's 5th on the 19th.

Christmas came and went all too quickly (as is the norm), and a couple of days ago I turned 29.

Yeesh. 29.

I always assumed that there was something that happened at a certain age or stage in life that magically turned you into a responsible adult. I never figured that at the place I am now, married with two absolutely wonderful kids, expecting my third (THIRD!), I would still have no idea what I was doing.

Growing up, I never suspected that my mom struggled with anything. She seemed to have everything all together. Always. Maybe it was because I was the 5th kid. Maybe that 'thing that happens' comes somewhere between 3 and 5 kids. I don't know. But I don't remember my mom ever losing her temper, raising her voice, failing to get all of us to church (I even think we got everywhere on time and presentable), and we always ate a healthy home-cooked meal, complete with vegetables, every night around the table. You'd think, growing up with that sort of example, that I would be a stellar mom. I am not. I am very impatient, always late, and very rarely cook anything more fancy or healthy than macaroni and cheese (which we generally eat on a folding table in front of the stupid TV).

To say the least, I have plenty of room for improvement.

With the start of each new year, I love the feeling of getting a 'blank slate', with limitless opportunities for self-improvement. With the arrival of another baby on the horizon, I've been thinking a lot about the time I spend with my family and the many opportunities for quality time that seem to slip through my fingers like sand. Time spent with my children is more precious than time spent on the computer, cleaning my house, working, or any other activity that seems to whittle away at my moments. Will there still be more fun things to find on Pinterest that I will likely never devote the time to actually doing if I don't look right now? Of course. But my kids might be an inch taller when I wake up in the morning. They may just not quite fit in my lap anymore when I try to rock them to sleep.

I don't want to miss anymore moments with my kids, who are growing and changing all too quickly. I want to relish every moment (ok, maybe not every moment...). When my children are grown and gone away I want them to have countless memories of the love and experiences we shared, and not that I was always too busy to give them the time of day. I'm tired of wondering how other moms find time to do so many fun things with their kids. I don't want to have time to wonder, because I want to be that mom. Can I just flip my switch now and 'have it all together'? Maybe it's less about having it together and more about putting it together. I think this is my year to put it all together. Maybe I can choose to grow up before I turn 30 next year (ha!).

Now that I have bored you to death with my seemingly pointless musings, what are some things you do to maximize your time with your family? What do you do to keep what matters most in perspective?

What Matters Most